Rock Party

Five-year-old C. announced that her family is going to a Rock Party this weekend.

"My dad's going to be a rocker, my brother's going to play guitar, my mom's going to sing and my girlfriend's going to be Lady Gaga. And I'll be all the single ladies."

Ha!

Happy MLK Day!

Talking about Martin Luther King, L.'s sister asked, "Was he a king?"

L. responded, "Remember when before you were alive? You were judged by the color of your skin. If you were brown, you couldn't do anything. If you were white, you could do almost everything. Martin Luther King and a couple of people then made peace."

♥

A Very Convoluted Conversation

Our school's director just had a baby with her wife. After telling this to my class, the following conversation took place:

S: A girl can't marry a girl.

Everyone: Yes they can!!!!!

J: Well in some countries they can’t but they’re trying to get the law changed.

L: I’m going to marry a boy. My brother!

Everyone: You can’t marry a relative!!!

K: Yes you can, but you have to get an operation.

Wonka Vites

In Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, Charlie's grandparents are eager to take Wonka Vites. Each of these pills promises to take 20 years off their age. However, 78-year-old Grandma Georgina takes 4 Wonka-Vites, making her -2 years old.

Reading this book aloud to my class presented a lovely and confusing opportunity to explain negative numbers. On the white board, I drew a number line and began drawing a model of Grandma Georgina's rapidly shrinking age. "What do you think will happen to Grandma Georgina?" I said, as we subtracted more and more years from her age, getting closer and closer to the 0 on the number line.

"She'll be a baby!" some students cried.

"She'll be less than zero!" one student said.

"What happens when you're less than zero?" I asked, wondering what the kids would say.

"I know!!!!" N. yelled excitedly. We all looked at him. No response.

"I think you're not alive," said another student.

"No! I know what it is!" N. said yet again. He appeared to be thinking very hard but couldn't come up with the words for whatever he wanted to say.

We went back to the number line, trying to grasp the concept of numbers less than 0. Then suddenly N. interrupted our conversation.

"I know!!!" he yelled, as the whole class turned to face him.

"I know what you are if you're less than 0!!!" He was up on his knees, hands raised above his head in triumph.

"SPERM!"

That Would be Some Spooky Math

My kindergartners go to the other K/1 teacher for math time, so I'm often in the dark about what they do when they're gone.

"What did you learn about in math?" I asked L. the other day.
"Cemetaries."
"What?!"
"Oh, he means symmetry," G. explained, thank goodness.

Why We Cover Our Mouths

The other day N. coughed and Mr. B reminded him to cover his mouth.

"Why?" N. asked.

"Because it spreads germs," Mr. B. responded.

"Germans?!" G. (who had been listening to this conversation intently) asked, completely shocked and amazed.

Snippets

Ah, the funny things my kids say. Here are some of my recent favorites:

* G. went up to a fellow teacher the other day and asked her "Where do you put Mother Earth?" She was at a loss for words and asked, "What?" G. opened up his hand to reveal a pill bug and again asked, "Where do you put Mother Earth?"

* Unfortunately, do to the recent Pussycat Dolls t.v. show, many of my kids have been walking around singing "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me." Disturbing. It's particularly wrong when you catch a six-year-old boy singing it under his breath during math time.

* Before snack time I give the kids each a squirt of hand sanitizer. But they have a little trouble pronouncing "hand sanitizer" and have recently taken to calling it "hamitizer." As in, "You forgot to give me some hamitizer!" It sounds so funny, like some pork sanitation product.

Boys vs Girls

My new class is obsessed with "girls being icky" and "boys being gross" in a way that I have only ever seen in movies. I have spent the last month reading aloud Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to my students. The other day, as we were nearing the final pages of the book, J. raises his hand and asks, "Is Charlie a boy or a girl?" When I replied "a boy" the 12 boys in my class erupted into thunderous applause. Looking around the room, the girls were hanging their heads in mourning that Charlie was not on their (gender-divided) side. I wanted to say something comforting, like, "But it really doesn't matter does it?" or "But he likes girls too" but I wouldn't have been heard over the hoards of boys yelling, "Woooooo Charlie's a boy!!! Boys rule!!!!"

Atleast there's some hope: as the kids were clamoring to make girls and boys lines (which they know I object to) on the way to lunch yesterday P. suddenly announced, "There's no such thing as a boys and girls line!"